GIFT

This is my entry for December 30th in the #reverb10 challenge. For those who may be unfamiliar with it, Reverb 10 is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. Today’s prompt is GIFT:

December 30 – Gift. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year? (Author: Holly Root)

I slipped this summer, in a big way. I started a workload backslide that brought me a loss of income, angry clients, and a downward spiral that lasted several months. It is hard to pinpoint the exact cause of it, because it had many factors leading into it. I had a few computers break on me that needed to replace, which cost me time and money. I had a few clients who were not finishing projects, leading to income flow problems, panic, fear, and scrambling for work. I had other distractions, directions I wanted to go. My family life was getting a bit crazy with my son barreling towards the age of 2. I had some projects that just wore me down and ate up my energy, leaving me little time and patience for the other things I had to work on. And the list goes on …. until I hit rock bottom at some point and had to face the music. Some projects recovered, some did not; a lot of income was lost along the way; and some of my credibility was shattered in the process.

But something else happened — I was given the gift of rising from the ashes of all this with the ability to become something more and better. I had not been crushed by my experience. Instead, I had to actually work and pull myself out of this funk. I had to make new policies, set myself up for more success, and ensure this couldn’t happen again. I had to rethink how I did things and how I established working relationships with clients. I had to recommit to myself and my business. I had to do some projects over entirely because I had reviewed my earlier work and hated it. I had to begin again.

Could I have avoided this painful growing period? Yes, sure I could. But landing square in the middle of this trial by fire was the greatest gift of 2010, and I am a better person for it.